type
Post
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Published
date
May 7, 2024
slug
phd-daily-life
summary
这是不定期更新的流水账生活。不定期是因为有时候会用AI工具润色自己以前的日记，使其具有可读性。
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PhD
abroad
life
category
Life
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March 5, 2023
Today we went kayaking together, about 12 miles — roughly 20 km. So much fun and so therapeutic. Watching the scenery, listening to birds, chatting with teammates while paddling. Life felt so peaceful.
We had portable food for lunch on the beach, ate our fill. Dinner was even simpler — instant noodles with some veggies, though the noodles all clumped together.
I've noticed Americans don't obsess over food. They care more about enjoying life and having fun.
You might say: "I know some things are public, but I'll respect your privacy." So we can talk freely. Before I post any conversation online, I'll let you review it and decide what stays and what goes. Our conversations are a form of self-reflection. People are always changing, everything is changing, so the most important thing is to be happy and have no regrets.
I have a boyfriend now. We've been together for almost a year. He's applying for a PhD in the US. If he gets in, we'll probably stay on the East Coast or West Coast.
On marriage: if it doesn't make 1+1 greater than 2, it's meaningless. That's just my view. I think marriage is like a game — pairing up should increase our odds of winning and make us happier along the way. We need to pay more attention to our own feelings, communicate well — about everything: intimacy, daily life, family. Every stage of life requires communication with others, understanding life, and understanding people.
March 6, 2023
We had the fancy American breakfast — pancakes. Then got a late start, didn't leave until 11. After a long paddle, we finally reached our destination, sorted our stuff and set up tents. The Italian guy had a lot going on and didn't find a good tent spot until 4 PM. Then we rested in the tents, gathered firewood, lit a campfire and chatted. The Thanksgiving-style food was... okay. Honestly, none of it was as good as a normal dinner party at home.
Yesterday we went kayaking — super fun. We also had a water fight. Someone's water gun broke, so we just went all out splashing each other. In that moment I felt like a kid again. So happy. Still happy now, actually. So relaxing. You don't need to overthink anything, just enjoy the moment and breathe the fresh air.
In China we have plenty of holidays too, but we never seem to truly take the time to focus on ourselves and enjoy. Our trips are usually guided tours, just looking at scenery. We rarely get the chance to go to undeveloped camping spots where you can just be.
March 7, 2023
Woke up to loud birds in the forest. Way too noisy.
My tent mate told me I screamed in my sleep on the first night. I might be under more pressure than I realize.
Maybe I'm overthinking. As long as I prepare ahead and face things calmly, everything will be fine.
Had a couple bites of bread for breakfast. They insisted on making coffee with filtered river water, but it was still red after filtering — probably too much iron. Their faces were bright red but they kept drinking and said it was great. I was confused. We continued kayaking at noon, reached the next stop around 12. Took photos on the beach, made a hot drink, and headed to the next spot.
Buc-ee's was an interesting place — lots of stuff to buy. Had burgers and whatnot for lunch.
I noticed the food variety here is really limited — no vegetables or fruit, just burgers, meat, fries, and cola. In China, water at big malls is free, but here you have to pay.
That evening we went to Buc-ee's. Everything was Made in China but marked up several times over. Outrageous to me, but apparently normal for Americans.
Bought some chips, water, and a burger, then headed back to camp.
Morning temperature was only 5°C — really cold. The wind the night before was so strong it felt like it could blow us away.
I'm writing this like a stream-of-consciousness log, but I like it that way. Too much reflection might lead to overthinking.
Today's cultural clash was about the Italian guy. He said Russia is bad for starting the war. I told him we often don't know the full details and backstory of these events, so we shouldn't judge carelessly. As university students, we shouldn't do that.
They all said they agreed, but I'm not sure if they genuinely did or were just being polite.
I really love the vast, empty beauty of this place.
March 10, 2023
I'm the kind of person who just goes with whatever makes me happy. Probably most of the audience feels the same way. I think things here are really great. My parents are both farmers. I grew up in a farming family without much exposure to fancy things. As long as I can eat well, stay warm, have a job, support myself and my family, and keep striving in my career — that's enough. I don't need some grand ambition to serve the nation. Growing up, my family often fought about money, so all I want is a happy family. In the US, this mindset is embraced — their philosophy is that modest contentment is itself a kind of wealth.
It's been so long since I've written a diary that I've forgotten how to have a conversation with myself.
February 28, 2025
It's been over three years since I started my PhD. Currently I have one paper in progress, one collaboration with a classmate, one with a former colleague, and one with an external partner. That's four or five projects in hand. Still busy, still broke — busy and broke at the same time.
My current work is on bit-flip attacks. I feel like I really need to do deep reads of papers, write down the key points, summarize and synthesize them, and make them my own.
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