Personal Growth

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Post

status

Published

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Oct 14, 2025

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personal-growth

summary

On Family

My parents always said they loved me growing up, and I believe that. But love aside, they really couldn't provide much material support. We all know love can't be measured in money, but once you're out in the real world -- graduation, jobs, marriage, kids -- everything costs money.

My parents are farmers. As a kid, the most I could ask for was for them to take me out to play, and even that rarely happened. Not because they didn't care, but because they genuinely couldn't manage it.

In college they complained I didn't call home enough. But what was there to talk about besides asking for living expenses? During my master's I basically funded myself working weekends. During my PhD I wanted a cheap car to get around, and they just said it wasn't necessary -- take the bus.

Eventually I accepted the truth: they can't really help. Not because they don't want to, but because they simply don't have the means. Their care can only go as far as asking how you're doing.

On Friends

When you hit a rough patch, very few people actually show up. Most people think of you when they need something from you. The friends who are actually there for you in tough times -- you can count them on one hand.

On My Partner

People come and go. The one person I'm truly grateful for is my partner. Doesn't mind that I'm broke, doesn't bail when things get hard. Compared to that, family is just a label -- everyone's limited in what they can do for each other.

On Relationships

Sometimes people call me cold or detached. But can relationships really be maintained just by saying 'I love you' and 'I care about you'? Feelings need real action. The things I do get taken for nothing, while people just want zero-cost, infinite-return gestures. Can't do it? Then whatever.